overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
I don't know man, I woke up and shes here acting like she knows me, wearing my clothes, and scrambling eggs in my kitchen. I don't know her.
You were drinking with me last night, I warned you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
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