I cant believe that bitch gave me herpes. she said those bumps were just a part of the natural landscape
wait, did she really refer to her vagina as a landscape?
why are you more concerned about her word choice than the fact that I HAVE FUCKING HERPES
Never have I ever before welcomed her period with such enthusiasm. She was starting to pick out baby names. She got me "What to Expect When You're Expecting."
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize
