So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
I didn't notice because vodka
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
Randomize
