i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
You can't motorboat a personality
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
Randomize
