at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
it is 7:54 and i am surrounded by drunk old people. drunk enough that my grandmother and her friend just compared boobs. as in, shirts off, bras coming down. save me.
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
Randomize
