tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
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The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
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So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
It's an open bar. I'm gonna be gone when you get here.
Text me the address now before you're too drunk to text English.
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
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