her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
a bus full of elementary school kids may or may not have seen me pissing off my front porch this morning
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
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