the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
Randomize
