I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The cops are here to take me to jail, so I guess I have to go with them. If I'm not out by 6 p.m., there is some left-over lasagna in the fridge for you.
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
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