Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
FUCK WHALES
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
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