So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
I just got really nervous and swallowed all of my birth control
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
Randomize
