if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
i always forget guys have bellybuttons
the number of months ive had a girlfriend in my life divided by the number of blowjobs ive gotten is extremely depressing...
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
So hungover. I dropped my keys and leaning over seemed a terrible idea. Instead I took my shoe off in the middle of the street and use my toes to pick them up. Think I'm a genius.
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
People don't believe me when I say the bruises are from work. They just smile and say "right." Trust me, I WISH my sex life was that exciting.
Randomize
