the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
You showed up at my apartment after 3 am wasted with a plate of cookies and tried to hook up.
Sorry about that. Except for the cookies.
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
Sorry dude, one minute I was flirting with a bachelorette party from Dallas and the next I’m being tied to the bed by the bride
Trying to wrangle us an invite to the wedding
Randomize
