haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
You took acid last night and I’m up early to go to the grand opening of a new TJMaxx by my house. We couldn’t be more perfect.
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
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