I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
He put oyster crackers in his ramen noodles. Is that a thing? Because holy shit I had never thought of it before and if it's not a thing he's my new stoner hero for discovering it.
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
Randomize
