dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
Randomize