I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
Randomize
