I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
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