fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
her vagine was all disorganized.
Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
I like how I get messages from eharmony at the same time I'm looking for a new vibrator. It's like the powers that be are just trying to make my life ironic.
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
Randomize
