you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
I wasn't that drunk.
You were calling my cat 'Simba' and holding him up in the air.
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
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