Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Randomize