Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
this morning my mom told me to get a new vibrator because mine was too loud last night
i fell asleep watchin iron chef that was the blender she heard. i dont even own a vibrator
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
Randomize
