Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You called yourself Captain Aspirin and then tried to cure my headache by shoving pills up my nose. Fuck you becoming a nurse, you can't take care of me while you're drunk ever again. Ever.
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
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