i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
Randomize