Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
25 Of The Most Common Life Mistakes Young People Make
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
25 People Confess What They Really Think When They See An Obese Person
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach