well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
this homeless guy just told me to make a wish on his magic plastic spoon but said to be careful what i wish for...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
You handed J your Mayan-pocalypse shopping list and told him he wasn't getting laid unless he brought everything on it. Where is he supposed to get a live goat?!
Can you bring me the toilet please
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize