Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
Randomize
