I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
I supernannyed him into submission
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
Randomize
