I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
Randomize
