I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
i had a dream the other night i was titty fucking you while you were asleep, then you woke up and didn't care.
happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
So how do you explain to your boss that Siri called him mid sex?
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
Randomize
