Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
Randomize
