love makes seman taste better
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
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