Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
I need something that says "I'm gay sometimes but I feel scorned by my straight, non-committal lover, so I'm here to get drunk and make out, and possibly end up in a bathroom with someone who's name I won't remember tomorrow"
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
