I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
Randomize
