no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
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