I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
My birth control alarm just woke me up from my dream where I was pregnant. Thank god.
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
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