The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
Randomize
