Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
Randomize
