It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
I asked her why she was drunkenly masturbating to Iron Man and all she replied was "Robert Downey Jr". As far as excuses go, that seemed pretty legit.
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
You told me you were going to invite all of your Tinder matches to the same bar on the same night and make them compete for your affection in a series of Lust Olympics. Winner gets laid.
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
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