Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
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