After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
I don't know what part of my sober brain thought it was a good idea to get stoned when I can barely walk with crutches as it is, but that part is stupid.
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
Randomize
