Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
i just woke up in the woods behind my house in handcuffs and a dan marino jersey ive never seen before
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
Randomize
