i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
Randomize
