you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
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