McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
You guys I wore sweatpants to work today because I simply forgot to put on real pants and I had a weed brownie and a juice box for breakfast. I am not ready for parenting.
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
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