New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm at work, still drunk. Can you turn on the radio? If the station goes off the air I passed out. Can't get fired. Haven't slept yet.
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
Randomize