Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
He stopped me mid-blow job to say that his new year's resolution was to stop hooking up. MID FUCKING BLOW JOB.
Randomize
