last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
Randomize
