Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
I know you're on a date and I should leave you alone but about twenty minutes ago I realized I haven't been spanked in years so if you're still looking for a birthday present, you know, consider it.
ok first of all what the fuck
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
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