he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
Randomize
