She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
He's a Shit stain on my heart
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
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