Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
I had to switch to male Siri because I could feel female Siri voice judging me for reading my sexts out loud. Also, the dude voice keeps me in the mood.
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
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