We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
Randomize
