I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
You text me last night that you invented a new food. Cheese-less grilled cheese. Congrats, you made toast.
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
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