Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
Who did Billy Mays play for?
you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
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