my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
Randomize
