No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize
