Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
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