Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
Randomize
