Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
So the same great-aunt that told me to freeze my eggs for procreation just told me that I should strut around the dance floor b/c I'd get picked up.
I need to meet your family.
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
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