Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
Randomize
