saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
Crop dusting thru forever 21
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