Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
saw my dad's penis on the x-ray last night. at least his hip wasn't broken
so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
My plan for valentine's day: take a shot for every guy I've slept with. To keep me from going to the hospital I'm only doing half a shot for small dicks
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
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