i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
it's like iHOP with fire
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
Randomize
