:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
Randomize
