I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
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