I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
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