all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
He didn't get how "starting a flash flood in my thunderhole" was a sexy euphemism. Deal breaker.
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
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