there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
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