Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
Just saw some airport workers running through the terminal with liquor bottles. That's my kind of emergency.
Just reduced mom to tears when she realized I wasn't kidding about hating kids. She's crying about never being a gma. Now would be the time to tell her about the girl you knocked up. You're welcome.
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
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