'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
one might say we're banned from that church
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
I'm eating tomato paste and drinking banana juice that is expired. Can we please get groceries tonight?
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
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