I'm dying. Please wear something slutty to my funeral.
someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
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